Who else wants to die poor?

Here are easy how-not-to-be-rich-tips

These are repeatable, proven, systems to help you become very poor and I know u will like them.


Spend! Spend! Spend. Just spend on things you love. Even if you don’t have money, borrow and spend. Buy things that will depreciate in a few years. Just believe you will make more money to buy new ones.

Carry your credit card everywhere you go. Your ATM must be your key holder. Don’t forget it lest you miss buying something you may not have planned for. Live like you are rich. That’s a quick way to becoming poor.

“Do I need this?” that is a question for rich people. Don’t ever think about that before buying anything. Once your eyes like it, let your money go for it. Your heart will appreciate you later.

“Will it make my life better?” That’s another silly question asked by rich people before they make a purchase. If it won’t make your life better why is it being sold at that high price?

Listen to poor people

If you want to be poor, you need to listen a lot to poor people. They can give you the best advice to help you swim in lack.  “Money is the root of all evils. The monetary system is evil, unfair and corrupt. Money making is very difficult. You need to know someone or cheat to make money.”  They will tell you all that.  They are right so long as you need must be like them. Poor people are not just poor. They can be very funny at times. Don’t forget you need that kind of humour and self-satisfaction to remain poor.

A wise man once said, “If you don’t want to be criticized, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing”

 Just listen to them and you will be as poor as they are if not worse. If an idea comes to mind just discuss it with them. They will give you the best advice. If they tell you to go ahead with it know that your idea is not too good. If they encourage you not to go ahead, they are right. They might not give you the reasons why it is a bad idea. But does it matter?

Follow the media

This is very simple and it works like magic. The media knows it all. It is being controlled by superhumans with only your interest at heart. Let’s just pay attention to the media. All they say is Gospel. They can’t lie to you. If they say the economy is the way it is because of bad government policies, that’s true. They can’t lie!

 After yesterday’s morning show, I realized it’s not my fault that I am jobless. The studio guest confirmed the government’s failure in job creation. Last time even the General Secretary of that political party even mentioned it that we the youth are poor because the economy is bad. TV doesn’t lie.

Let them tell you what is good and bad. From food to room, lifestyle to beauty, success or failure is best determined by the media. Overly dependent on comments, views or stories from the media will surely make you poor.

Take other people’s views or comments personally

Always listen to people. Don’t just listen but take everything they ask you to do seriously. “People will judge me and think I have changed with money.” Yes, that’s a nice conversation to have.

“I don’t want to be judged. If you work hard people will even think its juju money you have gone for.” A marketman said. He is right.

 My friends, stress kills and when people talk about you is more stressful. It can even make you lose weight.

To be poor all you need is just respect their views don’t ever go against what they say. Konkonsa can be very painful so don’t give them stories to discuss. Do nothing, say nothing lest you will be the topic of discussion at the market square. Just stay in your one corner and surely poverty and mercy will follow you all the days of your spare life!

Follow the masses

Massa you are not Martin Luther to change anything. Forget your dream. This has been the practice. You and I cannot change much. Everyone likes it this way, who are we to make a difference? We can’t fight the system. My father was born poor, your mother is dying poor who are we not to join the chorus. The whole community is poor. Trying to be rich means you are going to step on people’s toe. You know how dangerous that can be.  As long as you follow the masses and do what they want poverty will come knocking.

Make excuses

I don’t like debt. I won’t go for any loan to start a business. Me the way I hate it when I owe people, I hate debt. I don’t have the time ooo to get a side job. I am always busy. I am too young to take that risk. I will start when am done with school or after my first child. I just can’t do it. I am not good enough. Even if am good the time is not ripe. In fact, I hate stress ooo, I can’t come and kill myself.

Mr. Kenya Airways don’t rush you will be poor in no time. Just stick to your words and go on as planned. Hate debt, don’t ever start now because there is more time. 

Fight battles that aren’t very important to you

Shata wale be slow kraah on that track with Beyonce. The Ashaiman guy would have killed it. Charlie Strongman be too much for Medikals! I was at church but was listening. If this beef continues tomorrow I won’t go to work. We must meet to discuss it. It’s very good to follow these things not just for fun but you must take it as the world cup. You may even want to bet your phones on it, that the other person will reply the beef.

What about meet later to play all the songs and analyze the punchlines. A conference call won’t be bad too. It’s just to make sure we know who the winner of the beef is.

If we finish then we shall continue with the never-dying debate of Messi and Ronaldo, not forgetting NPP and NDC.  By the way, I have been telling you the new tenant in our house is richer than Asamoah Gyan. He just bought a new swimming pool after the armed robbers have stolen four. We must compare their wealth again. 

All these discussions draw us closer to poverty once we can devote more time to this at the expense of everything. Once nothing good comes out of these things for us, that’s gain.

Now you know how to be poor. Kindly go by them. If you do anything contrary you may end up becoming rich. I wish you all the best in your endeavor.

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